I'm a fucking idiot.
I was walking my dog, I had just rain and it was muddy and cold.
Someone had untied this rope swing from up a really high tree so I thought
"fuck it, this looks kinda fun"
2 meters in the air
and the fucking stick breaks
and I land gracefully onto my face like a majestic swan
luckily no broken nose or teeth
but the moral of the story is don't use random rope swings no matter how bored you are
because you will embarrass yourself
and nobody would've filmed it